You know the old saying, “you can’t see the forest through the trees?” I loathe that phrase, especially as a self-proclaimed stubborn individual, when someone points it out to me. But after my big crash landing in the fall and realizing I needed some stillness in my life, I tried embracing it. I stripped life down to the absolute bare minimum, trying to quiet myself during what may be the noisiest time of year (November and December… am I right?). I exited my three-month sabbatical from “shoulds” and unnecessary responsibilities with a newfound clarity.
Here’s the story, and I’m sticking to it.
Life In The Swirl
Before I took my break, I felt like my life was swirling in all directions. The holidays were upon us; my work as a DIY blogger was taxing and unfulfilling, while my work as a ski instructor was ramping up. Primary parenting duties consumed me, and so much more. There was an overwhelming amount of work and too little time. I felt like everything was just too much, and my relationships with my children and husband were suffering.
I started dropping balls left and right, cognizant that some balls are plastic and some are glass. I carefully kept juggling the glass balls while the plastic ones dropped. Christmas decor gone. Blog work abandoned. Dinners requiring more than five ingredients scrapped. I didn’t even finish decorating for Christmas or putting together an Advent calendar for the kids, two things I normally love to do. Turns out both of those balls are plastic, and I can choose to pick them back up again next year.
Suddenly, there was more room to breathe and more space to truly see and analyze life as it was. I couldn’t see the way I was living through the swirl of life. I couldn’t see the forest through the trees.
Assessing Big Changes
I knew I wanted to make changes to my life…BIG changes. I had this grand vision, also swirling in my head, of what I wanted my life to look like. Things like more of our food coming from our backyard, more sustainable practices, more creativity, and other things. But to add more to our lives, we had to let go of other things. Like less stress, debt, overwhelm, and clutter.
As I stripped away what wasn’t necessary, let go of hustle, and turned “should” into the dirtiest word in my vocabulary, I started envisioning what life could look like. If we had less debt, we could go on meaningful adventures with the kids. Or if we had less clutter in our home, it would make room for more creativity and art projects. I could see the tradeoffs we could make.
The space I gave myself was absolutely instrumental in deciding on what stays versus what goes on a gut level. For example, for the last few years, I had been working tirelessly to earn an income from a DIY home and garden website. It was, simply put, a lot. It took money to tackle the projects, time to finish the work, more time to photograph and edit photos, time spent writing and editing, and then finally promoting the work. I thought I loved the process, but as time passed without giving it attention, I could see the cracks and ways it wasn’t serving our family.
I didn’t love the consumerist nature of the work, often spending money we didn’t have on finishing a renovation and revealing it. Or the stress of trying to keep our home photograph-ready at all times, neat, tidy, and super clean, when my family just wanted to live in the house without a stressed-out mom/blogger cleaning up behind them. Or even the privacy of it all. It was one thing when the nature of my work pulled the curtain back on my life and some of my husband’s, but showing my kids’ rooms and detailing some of their stories felt wrong. It’s not fair to them.
I loved writing that site, and it was successful, but during my break, I felt how unaligned it was with my values and what mattered most in my life.
The Great Big Life Assessment
In early January, while the New Year’s resolutionists were busy setting their goals for the year, I found myself working through one big life assessment. I ticked through everything I was doing and holding. Here are some of the questions I asked myself.
- Where am I spending my time?
- What am I doing that feels good?
- What am I doing that doesn’t feel good?
- What do I want more of in life?
- What do I want less of in life?
- Which balls am I juggling that are made of glass? Which are plastic?
- What does a basic, simple life look like for our family?
- What are my values? My family’s values?
- How am I living my life aligned with my values?
- How am I living my life misaligned with my values?
- What are my dreams?
- Are my dreams aligned with my values?
- How can minimalism and simple living help me achieve those dreams?
- What is holding me back from my dreams?
At first, when I started journaling out these prompts, I could tell that I was guarded. I wasn’t being true to myself. For example, my first response to how I’m spending my time was light and fluffy. Taking care of my family, working in the garden, etc.
When I finally wrote from the real, raw place it looked more like stressing out about how overwhelmed I am, having panic attacks about what is happening in our world/country and how unsafe I feel, procrastinating on starting work for the day because I feel so misaligned and fake with what I’m doing, and even trying to be perfect so I will be loved. Now we’re talking and getting to the good stuff. My therapist will be proud!
I journaled every day. Sometimes on these prompts, sometimes with the minutia of previous prompt responses. For instance, when I was writing about my dreams, one of them was “I want to be a stay-at-home mom who also has a side career.” I asked, “Do you really want to be the primary caregiver because you seem so stressed out about it all the time?” As I dove in and explored my feelings, I learned that I truly do. AND sometimes it’s too much. AND sometimes I need a break from the overstimulation. AND the messes they make get to me. To be the kind of homemaker I want to be, I learned it’s important to take care of myself in the process, set boundaries, and maybe turn that extra room with no purpose into a dedicated playroom so messes can stay there.
Stripping Down For Mental Clarity
The mental clarity that came from slowing down and stripping down the unnecessary elements of my life was instrumental as a next step in my simple living journey. It cleared the mental space I needed to see my life from 10,000 feet, break some habits that weren’t serving me, and calm my mind and body to do a true life assessment, diving deep into where I am and where I want to go.
While much of what I let go of was temporary, like the deep cleaning tasks or volunteer commitments, it provided a break and some peace from the overwhelm to put together a plan. As I slowly piece together the next steps of my simple living and minimalism journey, I can see the big picture clear as day. It’s no longer a wispy mist floating through the depths of my mind.
The Simplicity Summit
I can’t claim my simplicity journey as just mine since it deeply affects the other members of my household (one husband, two kids, one cat, one dog, and eighteen chickens). Enter the first annual Campbell family simplicity summit.
During my three months of essentials-only living, I re-read Courtney Carver‘s book, Soulful Simplicity. I adore that book and had last read it six or seven years ago. In part of the book, she briefly mentioned the simplicity summit that she and her husband do every year. Basically, it’s a time to sit down together and discuss the big ideas for your lives, the small goals or steps to get you there, and how you want to live your lives as a family.
I will share many more details of our simplicity summit, along with some steps and tips for how to do it later. But in general, we made a basic outline of what we wanted to discuss and set a date to meet. My husband and I each did our own research and prep work before the big day. We covered our dreams, what we wanted more/less of, how we wanted to shift our lives, and some next steps to get us started.
In general, we both want more peace, love, and happiness in our lives and less stress, emotional overload, overwhelm, and clutter. For the next few months, we’re largely focusing on decluttering: physical clutter in our home and other things we’re holding that no longer serve us.
We also have plans for small shifts towards simpler routines, less responsibility, more time together as a family, healthier lifestyles, and more sustainable living. But those are stories for another day.
Stillness Is Necessary For Clarity
It’s downright impossible to make big decisions or listen to your gut when you’re going 100 miles per hour. It’s all adrenaline, stress hormones, and the never-ending to-do list driving the bus.
When you slow down, you give yourself space to see and hear things you may normally miss due to the noise. You can listen to your inner knowing and respond to life with thoughtful, intentional action instead of from a reactionary position. Or maybe you make connections or spot risks that you couldn’t necessarily see from a state of stress or overwhelm. There’s room for thoughtfulness.
After temporarily letting go, I created the mental space to analyze where I’m at and start putting together an intentional, simple living plan. It was just what I needed and has helped me clearly see the vision and embody it.
